Death Of A Salesman
[A Theatrical Play Act]
1949, The United States Of America
1.
I was having trouble breathing as I pulled over at the side of the road. My vision failing I pulled at my collar as I kicked open the car door.
Savannah was dead.
The world around me was dissolving. Gravel cracked beneath my shoes as I swayed out of the car towards the trunk as though I had just took a gasp of air coming up from the ocean. The case of water was putrid from the heat but the only thing that kept me from passing out on the side of the empty heat scorched road. I poured one of the bottles on my wrists and dashed my face with the remaining water and began to cry as I closed the trunk and sat back down behind the wheel half blind and dizzy. I broke my hand punching the dashboard and screamed as loud as I could knowing there was nobody near and clutched at the wrist sobbing anew.
2.
The trip home is long and I can barely stay alive it feels. I know what my wife is doing at home and she is out of breath as she runs to answer the phone. “I’ll be back soon” I tell her and she says she loves me as I begin to cry once again as I head back to the car. My broken hand can barely clench a fist and I can hear birds chirping through the open window as she hung up the phone. I can see dishes drying and our ashtray where she abandoned her cigarette to answer the telephone. This feels like hell as I decipher what type of nightmare occurs in the middle of summer in broad daylight. There is nothing on this earth that can save me. Visions of my parents flash between cars honking and the glare of the sun as I feel more and more faint over time navigating my way home.
3.
I nearly fall from the car as I pull into the driveway and feel as though I’m buried in cement as the front door opens and I’m greeted by the love of my life and she’s wearing a tight yellow dress with a diamond necklace. She nods her head as she reaches me first and falls into my arms as I forget how weak I am.
4.
I feel as though I slept for days when I wake and again I can’t stop myself from crying as I look out the open window of our second floor bedroom. I can breathe so much better and I can feel her presence downstairs as I go back into shock. I simply sit up and stare out the window as the linen curtains blow gently in the summer breeze. She’s like a small child with a compulsion for cleanliness and routine. Tears stream down my face as the world ends in my mind again and I smell something cooking downstairs as panic overtakes my reality I force myself out of bed.
5.
She is glowing and her hair is arranged nicely tied back and I give her a kiss standing behind her as she plays at the stove. She tells me to sit and brings me coffee sweeping the hair from my forehead and kissing me this time knowing I haven’t brushed my teeth I feel guilt and simply light a cigarette as she prepares breakfast. Dreading any form of conversation I simply stare at her heels and lean back in the chair. I feel buried alive and suddenly crave a gigantic meal as though she knew how I would feel a giant plate makes it way to the table and her smile burns it’s way into my subconscious I nearly crack my teeth as I grin and she presses her forehead into mine gently and runs her fingers along the side of my face as I close my eyes feeling like I entered heaven in this moment. She joins me across the table and I can’t find any words as she again reaches for my face and fixes my hair. She’s an amazing cook and the love of my life. I resist breaking down again in tears as I try to find the words to describe what a failure I am.
6.
The bridge is long, I grip at the steel wires staring down into a terrifying gorge. I can hear screams in my head so clearly and release my grip as though they were electrified. I head back to the car and imagine telling the local authorities about my fear of heights which won’t suffice. Feeling vertigo and I might as well be drunk out of my mind. I simply must be lucky I thought as I take one last look down at the buried river beneath this awful bridge. I feel sick to my stomach and curse creation as I get back behind the wheel short of breath.
7.
She tells me not to worry as I can barely listen and look to see if she’s eating at all because I’m barely chewing as I pray there’s more food on the stove that I can’t see. She simply nods as she speaks and the world around her illuminates in angelic hues. I can feel a tear run across my cheeck and it doesn’t matter one bit. My fist clenches briefly and such pain issues from the nerves within the bone that I laugh and ask if there’s more food left on the stove and she interrupts what she was saying as she gets up and takes my nearly empty plate to the stove as a slight stream tears from my right eye I clench at the nerve in my fist as I light another cigarette to stop myself from crying.
8.
She sits on my lap with her arm around the back of my neck and takes the cigarette from me as she places the plate back on the table and hands me my fork. She starts whispering in my ear as I resume eating as though it were my first day on earth. She can’t see that I’m crying with her lips to my ear, I refuse to tremble as the world burns as I clench down on my fist and I feel as though I died from the pain. I forget what a failure I am as she kisses my cheeck and sits back across from me ignoring if I was crying.
9.
She clears the table and brings me back upstairs by my hand holding a large mug we share. Taking me back to bed she crawls beside me and plays with the back of my head twirling my hair. I see demonic scenes cast in white light briefly as she assures me that everything is fine. I take a deep breath and close my eyes fearing the giant world around the two of us and being alone. Her presence refuses that I’ll ever be alone again as I fall into a sweet dream of nothingness. Tranquility begs that we are never apart. I dream of violence in the name of love. She wakes with me and begins hugging me violently and reminds me that she could take my head off if she likes. I turn over and go back to sleep afraid that there is someone downstairs.
[2024]
Property Rights To Concept And All Works Pertained Within Granted And Owned By It’s Owner And Rightful Trademark Holder Under Title, Ownership.
[The Standard Reserve]
The Standard Reserve 